That quiet heaviness, where nothing is really “wrong,” but everything feels tiring, was a big part of my mid-20s. I was doing everything right on paper. I was really anxious, tired, and deeply unhappy. It was a big change when I started to pay more attention to what I did every day. I understood that I wasn’t broken or failing. I was making life harder without even realising it by doing things I had never thought about.
7 Daily Routines
A lot of the time, we don’t realise that we make our own stress. We stop asking ourselves if these habits help us or slowly wear us down because they become so normal. Here are seven common habits that make life harder and heavier, along with healthier options that helped me get my clarity, energy, and balance back.
1. Saying yes when you really want to say no
How often do you agree to something even though your gut is telling you not to? For years, I was stuck in “please everyone” mode. Every request seemed like it had to be done. It seemed like I had to go to every party. I agreed to do more work, cancel social plans, and make commitments that had nothing to do with my own priorities.
Also see This tried-and-true strength training program will help you run faster after 40. This strength training program will help you run faster after 40. It was made for speed and endurance. Over time, the weight of these unwanted duties became too much to bear. I didn’t understand why I was always tired when other people had expectations for my life. I learned to treat my “no” with the same respect as my “yes.” That was the change. Before I agree to anything, I now stop and think about whether it fits with what is most important to me right now. If the answer isn’t clear, it means no.
Also read: Yoga for Sciatica Relief: A Doctor-Recommended Way to Naturally Relieve Nerve Pain Yoga for Sciatica Relief: A Doctor-Guided Way to Naturally Ease Nerve Pain Begin with small steps. Say no to one small request this week. Take note of the relief. It’s not selfish to protect your time and energy because they are limited.
2. “High standards” are just a cover for perfectionism.
I thought for a long time that being a perfectionist was a good thing. I told myself that I only cared about quality, but I was always picking apart details and never happy with my work. Perfectionism was really a cage.
It kept me stuck in a cycle of endless revisions, putting things off, and being hard on myself. It was never clear when something was ready, so nothing was ever really done or shared. When I accepted “good enough” as a starting point, things changed. Getting to 80% and then moving on made more progress than polishing forever did.
Perfection is never better than progress. Every time.
3. Living in your head anywhere but the present
A lot of my anxiety came from always thinking about the past. I thought about past mistakes or made up future disasters. There was hardly any present moment. This habit is tiring because you’re fighting battles that are either over or haven’t even started yet.
The goal is not to completely forget about the past or the future. It’s to come back to the present more often. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring it back to the present moment. What can you see, hear, or feel right now?
I learned that how long something lasts doesn’t matter as much as how consistent it is. Two minutes of presence every day is much better than a long session every now and then that doesn’t work.
4. Putting your private problems next to other people’s public successes
It’s easy and constant to compare things now. We watch curated highlight reels while living in our own unfiltered world. It’s the same when you’re not online. We compare our own doubts to someone else’s success that we can see.
This habit overlooks a significant reality: everyone faces unseen difficulties. That life that looks perfect also has worries, stress, and not knowing what’s going to happen. They are not on display.
Look inside yourself. The only comparison that matters is how much you’ve grown. Are you getting smarter? Are you changing? That’s what matters.
5. Trying to control something that was never yours to control
Trying to control what you can’t control is one of the most stressful things you can do. The actions, results, opinions, traffic, timing, or situations of other people will always be out of your control.
I learned this while trying to run my business and keep track of everything and everyone. It made me tired and slowed things down. Letting go didn’t mean giving up. It meant putting my energy into things I could change.
Keep it simple. You have the power to decide what you do, how you respond, how much effort you put in, and what choices you make. You can’t reach anything else. Knowing that you have to live with it is a relief.
6. Keeping relationships that don’t work anymore
Not every relationship is meant to last. Still, a lot of us hold on long after the connection has become tiring. We stay with people who don’t fit with who we are becoming because we’re scared, guilty, or used to it.
Keeping old relationships alive adds emotional weight. Allowing connections to change or fade gives you room to make healthier ones. You can grow, and your relationships should grow with you.
7. Waiting for the right time to start
“I’ll start when things calm down.” “I’ll be happy when I get to that point.” This way of thinking quietly puts off life. There is always another condition that needs to be met.
The truth is that there is no perfect time. The other option is to start off wrong. Start before you think you’re ready. Make small, messy steps. Things happen in the middle of life, not at the end.
Today, two minutes of work is better than a perfect plan that never gets started.
Last thoughts
We often make life harder than it needs to be because we don’t question our habits. These patterns don’t go away right away, but they do get easier to deal with once you see them.
You don’t have to fix everything all at once. Pick one habit that stood out to you and try to stick with it for a week. See how it affects your energy and mood. The goal is not to have a life that is perfectly optimised. It’s about learning to let go of the weight you were never meant to carry.
